The Caregiver’s Emotions
A caregiver’s role involves many emotions and striking a balance between these emotions is a challenge for the caregiver. However, if you separate the emotions from the tasks involved in care giving, much of the things like doing grocery shopping, or the laundry, paying the bills or managing the paperwork are routine. Looking after your aging parents’ household chores is not caring. It is the emotional support you can provide to them in their twilight years that makes the difference. (“Family Caregiver – Senior Helpers – Caring for Your Elderly”)
If you are helping your elderly parent through the trial of coping with a terminal illness, they will need all the emotional support you can provide them. Although they may put up a brave front, they may be experiencing emotional turmoil due to the realization of the approaching end of their lives. As a caregiver your personal emotions at dealing with this reality, is grief. (“Caring For Elders with Terminal Illness – 3 Simple Ways To …”)
You must try to cope with the grief together, as best as you can. (“Caring For Elders with Terminal Illness – 3 Simple Ways To …”) At the funeral of an elderly person who has passed away due to a terminal illness, you often find that the primary caregiver is not grieving as much as the others. “This is because he or she has been trying to cope with the idea for some time and has usually got used to it by then.” (“Caring For Elders with Terminal Illness – 3 Simple Ways To …”)
“The two emotions associated with eldercare are compassion and pity.” (“Caring For Elders with Terminal Illness – 3 Simple Ways To …”) Your emotions as a care giver in the final months of the terminally ill elder have a direct effect on how you conduct the task of care giving. “The emotion of pity involves feeling sorry for your parent’s suffering whereas the emotion of compassion will make you understand the need of your parent, apart from feeling the pain, and try to help in any manner possible.” (“Caring For Elders with Terminal Illness – 3 Simple Ways To …”)
As a care giver, you must manage your emotions and influence your reaction to the elderly parent’s illness. A compassionate caregiver is most successful in his endeavor to make the elder’s life comfortable. (“Caring For Elders with Terminal Illness – 3 Simple Ways To …”)
There are three key factors to keep in mind to help manage your emotions and control your reactions to the tough times that lie ahead, and these are: (“Caring for Elders with Terminal Illness – 3 Simple Ways To …”)
- Focus your energies and attention on the person you are caring for and not on yourself. Focusing on them builds a bond between the two of you whereas focusing on yourself will breed resentment and self-pity. (“Caring For Elders with Terminal Illness – 3 Simple Ways To …”)
- Do not dwell on the problem, but instead try to find a solution to it. (“Caring For Elders with Terminal Illness – 3 Simple Ways To …”) Focus on the solution to a problem and not on its effects. “A good doctor will cure the disease, not the symptoms.” (“Caring For Elders with Terminal Illness – 3 Simple Ways To …”)
- Focus on the joyful moments and not on the grief and sadness. Take one day at a time and try to find moments of joy when your parents can share a good laugh with you or enjoy a meal or a good film. Being together and sharing the joys and the pain is the core of the caregiver’s role. (“Caring For Elders with Terminal Illness – 3 Simple Ways To …”)
Keeping these three facts in mind will help to keep your emotions under control. It will also help you to function out of compassion and not pity. This will help you to keep your perspective ease the pain and grief. (“Caring For Elders with Terminal Illness – 3 Simple Ways To …”)
Best Wishes, Coyalita
Behavioral Health Rehabilitative Specialist
See Tomorrow: “Moving Your Elderly Parents into Your Home – A Boon or Bane?”
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