Top Tips for Parents Teenagers
Top Tips for Parenting Teenagers
YOUR GUIDE TO POSITIVE PARENTING
Changes To The Law In September 2006, the law on physical punishment was changed. If a parent harms his/her child through physical punishment, the defense of reasonable chastisement will now only be considered if the harm is seen as minor.
Everyone accepts that children must learn right from wrong an right from wrong and develop the ability to get on with others. However, it is important to remember that you do not have a right to physically punish your child and you should, therefore, consider other approaches, such as positive parenting.
Being a parent is a wonderful thing; however, it’s not always easy. Hopefully, the information in this booklet will show you how you can use positive parenting techniques to guide, nurture and encourage your child and build your confidence as a parent.
Each section includes a very important point (V.I.P.) which should help you to achieve and maintain a strong, loving and respectful relationship with your child.
Parents of children with a disability may face additional challenges and pressures, which are not addressed within this booklet. However, there are details of organization’s that may be able to help in the contacts section at the back of this booklet.
“You think it’s hard now? Wait till they’re teenagers!”
Nowadays it seems that parents of babies and young children are bombarded with advice and help, but parents of teenagers need support too. The teenage years can be challenging, but they can be rewarding too as you watch your child continue to grow and develop as an individual.
Family relationships will enter a new and dynamic phase, and, at times, you may feel that you are having to work harder to maintain those vital ties with your child. However, ultimately, those ties can be strengthened, and it helps if you know and understand what is happening to your child.
One useful way of beginning to understand the teenage years is to remember that change is taking place in almost every area of a young person’s life – their bodies, emotions, social lives and relationships. Many of these changes are connected to physical development and hormone balance, neither of which the teenager can control.
Your relationship with your child will change when your child becomes a teenager, but it doesn’t need to change for the worse and your child still needs to know that you are there for him or her.
If you are patient and keep working at your relationship, you and your teenager will see the benefits.
Communication
Good communication is central to you developing and maintaining a good relationship with your teenager.
Listening to your teenager will encourage them to open up and
discuss the issues they face growing up.
Teenagers will learn how to express emotion such as anger or love by seeing how you express your feelings. Remember, you can influence behaviors positively or negatively, by your example.
Top Tips
■ Good communication builds good relationships.
■ Keep the lines of communication open at all times.
■ Listen to your teenager and try not to interrupt.
■ Remember we all communicate through body language – a smile can go a long way.
■ Keep calm – when things get heated the message does not get through.
■ Talking is good for everyone.
V.I.P
When you are angry your face and tone of voice convey the most meaning. The words you say actually count for very little.
Facial Expression 55%
Tone of Voice 38%
Words 7%
Conflict
Conflict happens in every family. How you deal with it can make all the difference. Be clear and confident and know what you want to say. Angry teenagers can be intimidating, even if they don’t mean to be. Your teenager may also feel intimidated by your behaviors.
Everyone gets angry from time to time but you can express your anger without aggression.
If it looks like an argument is about to start, stay calm and try not to get drawn in. Tell them that you care and want to help.
Remember there are people who can help: – family, friends, health visitors, G. Ps, support organization’s and groups (some of which are listed at the back of this booklet). Professional help can provide much needed support.
Top Tips
■ Ignore small or trivial issues and concentrate on resolving the more important ones.
■ After an argument, think about what started it. Was it a one-off or are there issues that are being raised often? What would you do differently if it happens again?
■ Pick a good time to talk to your teenager – when everyone is able to listen.
■ Be consistent with your decisions.
■ Ensure both parents present a united front. You may not agree, but you don’t have to say so in front of your teenager! Otherwise, you add to the confusion and give your teenager an opportunity to manipulate the situation.
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Regards, Coyalita
Behavioral Health Rehabilitative Specialist & Addiction Counselor
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