Keeping It at Arm’s Length
Caregivers face a problem when it comes spending time with their family and friends. They often tend to over-do their work that their family and friends are left in the dumps. They get wrapped up in their work, which certainly demands a lot from them, so much that rest of the world seems to disappear. Caretakers do have relationships and responsibilities that they often tend to forget when stuck up in this job. You can be a good caretaker of your aging parent or any elderly person, but you should also know that life after work must be given some importance.
It is not only bad for your friends and relatives but also you and the elderly person. Getting too obsessed with work is not a healthy sign as it will not be doing any good to you and the elderly parent. Your family or friends would not want you to be overdoing your work and spend very less time with them. It will be disheartening to them to see this happening to you.
Caretakers suffer from loss of sleep or a nervous breakdown working overtime. They even get eating disorders that can lead to their burnout. The best optimum approach would be to keep your work at arm’s length and give equal importance to family and friends.
To have a balanced ratio between work and your family, you must open out to the elderly person you are working with. It sometimes can be easier with elderly parent than just a mere elder person because the parent will surely be able to understand your plight.
You can also talk to them on rational basis explaining to them about your other activities and what you would like to achieve beyond caretaking. The parent can come in terms with you and will see to it that you will not give up your life for just mere caretaking.
Often, they tend to say things like “I wish he’d be here all the time”. This can be misleading sometimes. The parent knows that you are a mature adult, and you will need to manage life and job responsibilities in the best viable way.
There is another person to whom you will have to work it out with. It is your boss at work. You can be frank to him and explain all your problems back at home. These days, well trained and hardworking individuals dominate the business arena. This could very well go your way as they will know what it takes to be caretaking and working at the same time. Your boss will help you with your work as well as sitting with you to solve other issues than just throwing you out. Nowadays, people have an added responsibility of taking care of parents apart from the work at office.
If you have the best understanding with your boss at work, it will do you a world of good. He will be there alongside with you when you will have to take your parent to the hospital or to the doctors. In case of emergency, he will be flexible and allow you to work on other days to make up for it.
In fact, many employers allow you to work at home thus giving you ample time to take care of your parents and for other activities as well. A few companies offer extended break programs where you can take an enjoyable time off your work to manage your caretaking responsibilities. That is invaluable when you are moving your parent from home to an assisted living environment or when your parent is sick.
Solicit the support of your loved ones. If your mom must be at grandma’s house every evening for few hours, call up your dad or brother to do some cheese and macaroni so that when she is back her work will be cut-off. You can catch up some food joint nearby if you do not have anyone to make food for you. If your family, your friends, and your colleagues can help you out managing both your caretaking as well as work at office, it will be helpful for you. But make sure you see them often and spend quality time with them to ensure their support.
Best Wishes, Coyalita
Behavioral Health Rehabilitative Specialist
See Tomorrow: “Listening to Your Parents Even Now”
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