Follow Through Is the Key to Successful Discipline
Follow Through Is the Key to Successful Discipline
Let us face it. There are just some days when it would just seem easier to let your child have his way than feeling like you are fighting a losing battle when trying to discipline them. They beg, plead, cry, barter, and scream – anything to get out of doing the time for their crime. (“Follow Through Is the Key to Successful … – Healthy Patriot”)
However, do not lose your strength and your will during this time. It is times like these when consistent disciplinary action is imperative to instructing your child positive and acceptable behaviors. There is no room for negotiation when it comes to bad behaviors and there should be no room for exceptions when it comes time for punishing misdeeds or unruly behavior. (“Parenting Guide”)
Hopefully before any misdeeds occur, you have sat down with your child and discussed the consequences of misdeeds and inappropriate behavior or decisions. Be concise and consistent when discussing these consequences so that when the time to implement them comes, you can follow through with ease. (“Follow Through Is the Key to Successful … – Healthy Patriot”)
Children are classically evaluating the boundaries and limits set on them on a continual basis, and the temptation to ‘bend the rules’ just once or twice can be overwhelming when they are really trying your patience. (“Parenting Guide”)
But be firm yet fair. Emphasize that this was the understood consequence for this misdeed or inappropriate action, and that now is not the time to negotiate. (“Child Self Esteem Tips”)
Afterwards, take time out to discuss the situation with your child, and if it seems that a consequence that worked at first is not working anymore, rethink that punishment and negotiate with your child. (“Follow Through Is the Key to Successful Discipline”)
Of course, parameters that are set for their well-being or safety should never be negotiated. But in other instances, it may be time to develop a new consequence based on your child’s age, temperament, or maturity level. (“Follow Through Is the Key to Successful … – Healthy Patriot”)
It is also imperative that your spouse and any other adult caregivers are all on the same page and following through on punishments with the same level of consistency and clarity. Should you determine that what was once working is not working anymore and develop a new parameter, be sure all adult caregivers are brought into the loop so that follow through remains consistent and clear.
Parenting- When A Child Asks Why
Children, by nature, are inquisitive. While young, they question because they want a better understanding of something. When they become older, they question because they want a better understanding of why they must give importance to the same things that you do. (“Todays Parenting – short description”)
“Irrespective of how old the child is, it is important that when you are making the expectations and rules, the child does not question the validity of your claim and fully understands the consequences of disobedience.” (“Answering Children’s Questions – How Parents Can Survive …”)
Children of a younger age do not usually understand the entire reason behind why it is necessary for them to be back home from a friend’s place at a particular time or why, while in the house, they should not play ball. (“Answering Children’s Questions – How Parents Can Survive …”)
But to their credit, they always strive to make their parents happy and proud. Therefore, whenever a child asks, ‘why not’ or ‘why’ when they are told to go to bed early or to do some chores, you should never say ‘because I say so’. (“Answering Children’s Questions – How Parents Can Survive …”)
Instead tell them that they should do it because it makes you happy when he or she follows the rules that have been set and does what you have asked. Giving no explanation or just making a demand adds to the child’s confusion and frustration. (“Answering Children’s Questions – How Parents Can Survive …”)
Teenagers, adolescents, and older children will require a more elaborate explanation. Their why’s and why nots should be met with a clearly comprehensive reason. ” I do not want you to stay out till after 10 because we have to be at the airport early in the morning and I don’t want us to be late.”
This will also be an enjoyable time to reiterate what happens on breaking a rule. ” If you are not back by 10, you will be grounded for a week”. You should exercise clarity, consistency, and firmness.
“Although a child may constantly question the requirement of putting a rule and the irrelevancy of it, it also shows that the child is growing to be an individual thinker.” (“Answering Children’s Questions – How Parents Can Survive …”) Therefore, it is best you do not get frustrated or angry at them when they question you; remember it is their own method of understanding the world.
Best Wishes, Coyalita
Behavioral Health Rehabilitative Specialist
See Tomorrow: “Encourage Your Child to Feel Important”
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