Anger Management
None of us are immune to the negative aspects of anger and poor anger management. Every single person has experienced anger at some time in their lives. Since anger is a normal human reaction, often learned by young people, who have not attained the maturity to learn good anger management techniques or live-in homes where the adults have not learned productive anger management techniques, and have modeled their behavior, it is important that the whole family is actively committed to, learning good anger management techniques. (“Welcome to SUCCESSTRICK Blog| Your Future Success: Anger …”)
School shootings, physical violence among families, friends, associates, and loved ones, are proof and manifestations of the fact that poor anger management is, especially in young people, on the rise. Whether you blame the increase in anger related crimes, such as assault, murder, rape, physical and emotional abuse, on a lack of parental supervision, violence in video games or television, or other causes, the manifestations of poor anger management are becoming increasingly commonplace and increasing numbers of people are seeking professional help to gain control of the destructive effects of poor anger management.
Both internal and external events can cause anger. “Anger can be directed at a specific person (a friend, teacher, or parent) an event (academic challenges, loss of a loved one) or by frustration or worry over personal problems.” (“Anger and Anger Management Skills In Young People”)
There are many common causes for anger in school. Young people are easily frustrated and become angry when faced with difficult challenges. It is hard not to get angry when you feel you do not fit in, do not understand an assignment or project, when you fail a test, or fail to reach a goal. Frustration can lead to anger.
Many students get angry at their parents or teachers because they don’t feel the rules are fair. Sometimes anger occurs, without even knowing exactly why you are angry. There are times it cannot be controlled, and this is when we should seek help.
The worst thing you can do is deny your anger. While you want to learn to manage your anger, so that your anger does not cause you to do harmful things to yourself or others, when you hold your feelings inside, they can lead to an explosion, and the only way to prevent that, is to learn good anger management techniques.
Anger Management and Reacting to Loss, Threat
and Trauma
While we all must learn good anger management tactics, it is normal for humans to be angry, when they feel threatened, or feel betrayed, and are able to express the pain we feel.
Our bodies are conditioned to prepare us to flee or fight when we are faced with threats, and when we are angry, our bodies are flooded with adrenaline and cortisol, to prepare us to defend ourselves.
We may not be able to control our body’s reaction to loss, threats, or trauma, but we can learn anger management, and act in acceptable ways. All anger is not bad. We can control our anger, rather than allowing our anger to control us.
Sometimes anger is a justified response that can be used to allow people to make, needed changes in their lives. At times, anger is justified in unfair situations, and the energy that anger provokes is what it takes to get away from harmful situations.
Anger can be used to help you protect yourself when you are in danger, or to help you act, if you are stuck in a bad or dangerous situation.
Good anger management techniques are essential in these situations. Anger can be a way to deal with the feelings of frustration because things are not going as the person wants, and poor anger management skills can spell disaster in people prone to this type of anger.
Twenty percent of people have angry personalities. If you choose to be around someone who gets frustrated easily, and expresses anger explosively, your quality of life will be drastically changed by living with a habitually angry person who has negative anger management techniques.
Check out potential partner’s coping patterns, by seeing how he treats the significant others in his life when he is upset. If he treats them badly, chances are he will treat you badly too.
See how he acts when he is upset and threatened, especially when under the influence of alcohol or drugs, which tend to exacerbate poor anger management skills, and do not be foolish enough to think you can change anger patterns another has had many years to practice, before meeting you.
“Anger coping patterns lie deep within the psyche and do not change unless the person makes a strong commitment to become a better person.” (“Anger, The Enemy in Us Anger Patterns Are Learned from Our …”) People with poor anger management skills need a structured program of anger management or therapy to learn how to change destructive behavior.
Best Wishes, Coyalita
Behavioral Health Rehab Specialist
See Tomorrow: “Anger Management: What Triggers Your Anger?”
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