What Triggers Your Anger?

Anger Management

Is someone Talking Down at You?

“To develop good anger management techniques, you must first understand what provokes anger, and the body’s natural response to anger.” (“HOW TO EFFECTIVELY MANAGE YOUR ANGER”)

Anger is precipitated by the body’s natural chemical responses to increased physical arousal, emotions, and accompanying behaviors, which result when a person feels threatened, or perceives a threat or loss. The threat does not necessarily have to be a threat of personal, physical harm. It can be a threat to their self-esteem, when they believe their feelings are challenged or discounted by another. (“HOW TO EFFECTIVELY MANAGE YOUR ANGER”)

“The body naturally responds to any perceived threat by producing adrenalin to prepare for “fight or flight.”” (“HOW TO EFFECTIVELY MANAGE YOUR ANGER”) How a particular person responds to these threats is due, in large, to how they have been conditioned as a child or learned later in life, whether with good anger management techniques or negative ones.

Many abuse victims are conditioned to respond violently, and learn verbal, mental, or physically abusive behaviors from others, and never develop positive anger management techniques. Every person alive has triggers that set off their anger. Here are the most common reasons people become angry: (“HOW TO EFFECTIVELY MANAGE YOUR ANGER”)

Threats or perceived threats to their body or property

  • A threat to their values (disagreeing with something someone is doing, such as kicking a dog, or not following the rules)
  • When someone insists, they do something they do not want to do (“HOW TO EFFECTIVELY MANAGE YOUR ANGER”)
  • When someone hurts or betrays them, and they feel a loss of trust (“Anger, The Enemy In Us Anger Patterns Are Learned From Our …”)
  • When they attempt to escape guilty feelings over something they do not want to feel or admit to themselves (“Anger Management- common reasons people become angry …”)
  • When they believe their feelings are discounted, and their sense of self-esteem is compromised (“Anger Management- common reasons people become angry …”)
  • When expectations are not met (realistic, or unrealistic expectations) and they do not get their way

“Recognizing what provokes your anger, or what pushes your buttons, is the first step toward implementing good anger management techniques.” (“Welcome to SUCCESSTRICK Blog| Your Future Success: Anger …”) Instead of exploding, or reacting badly, try to recognize the signs that you are getting angry, such as:

  • Heart Pounding
  • Sweating, especially sweaty palms
  • Tunnel vision
  • Fist or jaw clenching
  • Buzzing sound in your ears
  • Headache or dizziness

When you can recognize the symptoms of your anger when they begin, you are much more likely to walk away. Once the initial adrenaline rush of anger passes, you are much more likely to react with initiative-taking, good anger management techniques, such as discussion, or simply distancing yourself from the people or events you know will provoke your anger.

Anger Management: Mature Ways of Dealing with Anger

The most crucial step in anger management is realizing if you are easily provoked and have an angry personality and learning to take responsibility for your responses to anger and irritation.

Angry people live with elevated levels of frustration, but good anger management techniques allow them to learn to keep their aggravation under control, by accepting their temperament, and accepting the responsibility of dealing with it, by learning anger management techniques to deal with the cues and triggers that can quickly turn to anger.

By practicing stress management techniques regularly, and using physical exercise to work off their irritation, they can recognize the beginning signs of anger, and take a time out to chill out, minimizing the likelihood of venting their anger on others.

Mature people try to practice positive ways to deal with their anger in an argument. One positive way to deal with anger against loved ones is to make a contract that they can leave during a fight, whenever they feel that they might lose control. Just go to a private place for time out. In private they do damage control techniques like waiting out the initial rush of the anger, and trying to think from the other person’s viewpoint, to bring their anger level down and then return to deal with the problem.

Accepting that you have an anger prone personality and recognizing the need to actively work toward anger management to live a happier life, makes the difference in managing anger successfully. A commitment to study and take parenting classes to seek more effective ways of disciplining their children, taking anger management classes, and participating in couples counseling, helps to learn better ways of being with the people they work and live with. (“When You Love an Angry Person – Lynne Namka”)

Some people with high degrees of frustration track themselves and work at diffusing their anger responses, through positive anger management methods; because their conscience tells them that their outbursts hurt others. Some people recognize that they are acting out angry responses they learned from their own parents and sending that legacy down to their own children. (“Anger Management – Mature Ways Of Dealing With Anger”)

Some get help because their partner gives them the ultimatum of threatening to leave them if they do not get help. A few get help only after they lose their spouse and families, but sadly, some never learn anger management methods that could save their families, if not their own lives.

Best Wishes, Coyalita

Behavioral Health Rehab Specialist

See Tomorrow: “Emotional Immaturity and Anger Management”

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