After You’ve Separated
You have invested a lot of time and energy in your marriage. (“PEO for Small Business | HR tor Small Business | VensureHR”) For some reason, you just cannot seem to make things work.
You and your mate are not talking to each other like you used to; you have started to sleep separately; or you or your mate have been unfaithful.
There are a million reasons why a married couple might consider divorce, and sometimes it just does not feel like the right thing to do. Sometimes, one or both spouses still have enough feelings for the other to want to prevent a divorce.
Does separation have to lead to divorce?
The answer is no. Separation can lead to a better marriage in the end. You just need to hope that the road to reconciliation is still within your reach.
Staying married after a separation is not easy, but it is right for many couples who still believe that the results are worth the effort. Separation should be used as a time for both people to try to heal your marriage. To give your marriage the best chance for reconciliation you can look to follow these guidelines: (“Lacyjeans’ Opinion”)
Be honest with each other. Discuss the genuine issues that are at the heart of your separation.
“Set aside time each week to talk about the issues, but it is best that you only tackle one issue a week or it can be overwhelming.” (“Stop Your Divorce After You’ve Separated – EDU.UDYM.com”) If things get too heated, or you do not have effective communication skills, see a counselor. That is what they are there for.
Stop seeing anyone else. If an affair is taking place during a separation, it must be stopped immediately for your efforts to work. Tell the other person you have decided to work on your marriage and have no contact with them again under any circumstances. (“Lacyjeans’ Opinion”)
This is where you must set aside emotions and go with what is right for your marriage and especially for any children who might be involved.
Do not date others while you are separated. You need to put all your emotional energy into healing your marriage and not in forming new relationships.
When you start forming emotional attachments with others, you just make things a great deal more complicated, and you are lessening the chance for reconciliation. (“Stop Your Divorce After You’ve Separated – EDU.UDYM.com”)
So, during what is usually a lonely and stressful time, you should attempt seek solace from same-sex friends, family, and your relationship with your spiritual self.
You need to examine your own part in your marriage troubles and not just seek to lay blame.
It is extremely easy to look at the other person and see how they’ve disappointed us, and to see what they’ve done wrong in the marriage. (“Lacyjeans’ Opinion”)
It helps when you consider what habits, actions, or words of yours have hurt your spouse and your marriage. You must be willing to take responsibility for the mistakes you have made and not just worry about the others. (“Lacyjeans’ Opinion”)
You must try to discover the bad patterns and habits you may have fallen into and make them better. (“Stop Your Divorce After You’ve Separated – EDU.UDYM.com”)
Best Wishes, Coyalita
Behavioral Health Rehab Specialist
See Tomorrow: “How to Stop Your Divorce”
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