Single Parenting
Say What Dating It Is Time to Move On?
Becoming a single parent is not an end. It is a beginning. Your new lifestyle is full of responsibility and challenges. It may be more important now than ever that you find time for yourself. (“Dating For Single Parents – Tips to Identify the Right …”) You need to relax and have fun. “It may have been a while, but you can date now.” (“Dating For Single Parent – Tips to Identify the Right Time …”)
You may not be ready to enter a new relationship, but that does not mean you cannot go out and have an enjoyable time with friends. Dating old friends is a fantastic way to re-enter the single world and renew old friendships. (“Dating For Single Parents – Tips to Identify the Right …”) They already know you, and they are easy to talk to. You need someone now to talk to and to ask for advice. “Old friends may also be a source for help around the house or at work.” (“Dating For Single Parent – Tips to Identify the Right Time …”)
But if you are interested in meeting new people and getting into a more meaningful relationship, you may want to do some real-life dating. (“Dating For Single Parents – Tips to Identify the Right …”) But dating as a new single parent can present unique challenges. Demands on your time may already be great.
“Taking care of the kids, earning a living, and maintaining your household are time-consuming chores.” (“Dating For Single Parents – Tips to Identify the Right …”) That makes it even more important to be available for your own fun and relaxation. But time management skills will be needed to keep your life from being chaotic and stressful. (“Dating For Single Parent – Tips to Identify the Right Time …”)
You may be emotionally raw at this time. Whether you have lost your partner through separation, divorce, or death, you are going through some big life changes. You need to be careful not to jump into the first relationship that comes along. You need to have fun, but you also need some time to heal and become independent again. (“Date | Parental advice”)
Here are some things to consider:
Am I ready to date yet?
Re-entering the single scene can be frightening. You may not feel self-confident about your looks, or you may feel that you have lost some important social skills. (“Dating For Single Parent – Tips to Identify the Right Time …”) But fear of dating should not be a deciding factor. Eventually, you are going to have to take that big step to have a normal life again. (“Dating For Single Parents – Tips to Identify the Right …”)
There are some things to think about, though. You are coming through a tough time, and you may be emotionally vulnerable and confused. You may not have the judgment to see your dates’ flaws. You must take care to protect yourself and your children from predators and people that will use you. (“Dating For Single Parent – Tips to Identify the Right Time …”)
Are you prepared to tell your children you are dating? Your kids are also going through a substantial change, and they may be insecure or jealous if a new adult is introduced to the family. Have you prepared them for this? Do they understand your feelings and support you? If your children are not ready for you to date, you may not be. But there is a limit. The important thing is to be honest and open with them about what you need and want. They are not dating the person. You are. Just keep the lines of communication open and clear.
Getting into relationships too soon is a common mistake for newly single parents. You are accustomed to being part of a couple and feel awkward and self-conscious going out alone. You may not be finished with the old relationship. Losing a partner, no matter how, involves going through a grieving process to heal emotionally and re-establish a normal life. Studies show that it takes at least a year for people to process their loss and move on. (“Dating For Single Parents – Tips to Identify the Right …”) Be sure you have given yourself enough time to heal.
You may also need to tie up loose ends from the previous relationship. There may be financial and legal matters still open that must be closed. (“Dating For Single Parents – Tips to Identify the Right …”) If your partner passed away, you would need to settle the estate, dispose of property, and finalize insurance issues. Better to focus on this business while you are grieving than to introduce a new complication into an already complicated life. (“Dating For Single Parent – Tips to Identify the Right Time …”)
You also need to take time to help your children grieve the loss. They may be feeling abandoned, and they will need your love, support, and encouragement to move forward. (“Dating For Single Parent – Tips to Identify the Right Time …”) And they need to build a new relationship with you, one where you are the only parent. Dating too soon can cheat them of this valuable time with you and create behavioral problems that are not easy to solve. Take it slow for their sake and for yours.
Best Wishes, Coyalita
Behavioral Health Rehabilitative Specialist
See Tomorrow: “How Do Single Parents Find People to Date?”
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