You may have done up the house and put a lot of effort into maintaining it but somehow the divorce settlement did not allow you to hold on to it; it can happen – and you must be prepared to face the eventuality: that you must move out.
Painful as the thought of leaving behind a familiar place is, you just need to pull yourself together and focus on finding a suitable new flat or house fast, so you are one step closer to a new life, a new and more independent you, too. (“Divorce – Post-Divorce Options – Find A Home!”)
Whether you pick an apartment as your new home or plan to buy a house is entirely your choice and dependent on your budget, career, and other factors, such as whether you have children and their custody or wish to have space for them when they visit etc. (“Divorce – Post-Divorce Options – Find A Home!”)
“Sometimes, even if one wishes to hold on to their marital home, it is just not a practical decision if they do not have the income to support expenses for the maintenance of the place or have children to support so the house may be a burden more than an asset and it may be sensible to move to some place smaller, more manageable etc.” (“Divorce – Post-Divorce Options – Find A Home!”)
Whatever the reason for your moving out, whether financial or emotional (painful memories), moving out of your house post-divorce, is imperative for some and an unpalatable decision for others, while it is just a move towards a new life in either case, which many fail to see.
For those that are lucky to have gotten a divorce amicably, the idea of co-ownership where taxes and mortgage is shared can be considered; while uncommon, it is not out of the question for couples that continue to stay on friendly terms even after divorce and do so for the sake of the kids.
If you do get the house and still want to sell it and move to a smaller, more affordable or completely distant place to start over again, even that’s understandable and practical to move ahead with emotions and financial changes post-divorce; you can also downgrade from the fancy car to a more sensible one and work towards making the new home environment more cozy for the kids and yourself.
Setting up a new home after divorce is not all that difficult if you keep a few guidelines about everybody who will live in it (you, your kids, perhaps a grand relative etc.) and their comfort levels: begin with keeping their favorite color schemes in mind for the walls of the new home and work in familiar themes in the décor as well.
Allow kids some freedom in doing up their rooms, make the home open to their friends and yours so the familiar warmth is retained even as you move out into a new place after the divorce; place furniture the way you like it and enjoy your independence.
Just keep in mind that with kids, you may want them to remain in the same school district so as not to disrupt their schedule too much and have them adjust to the new life and new home better.
Divorce, Find an Apartment, And Move on In Life
Since divorce calls for moving on – do just that: move on and away, preferably keeping some distance between where you lived when married and where you plan to know that you are single again.
Find an apartment when you begin with the divorce proceedings as this is the sensible thing to do if you are not a parent; the equation changes if you do have kids as you may want to hold on to the house, which is looked upon as a stable and familiar environment for raising the children.
This is advisable if you do not want your spouse to get custody of the kids and want to retain your possession of it for their sake; but, if there is substantial lack of peace and too many arguments where you live, it may be best to stay separate till a ruling is made for the same.
At times, a temporary relief hearing can be conducted by a judge during a divorce case and this is the time to decide whether you want to return to the marital home or make a plea for your spouse to move out of the house: if you choose to find an apartment, go for one meant for people going through a divorce as these are affordable and give adequate privacy also; keep in touch with your kids if you cannot take them with you for space constraints or any other reason.
“It is advisable to give the kids a space they can call their own and have fun in if moving to a new flat; take all your personal items with you, like wardrobe and jewels besides making a list of all the stuff you cannot take along immediately so you can claim them later.” (“Divorce Proceedings – The Odd Couple? Move Out!”)
If children are staying back in the house, you may prefer to leave behind more general purpose furniture as you don’t really want to disrupt their comforts and familiar space besides, it does may one look the taking sorts to have emptied out the entire house during divorce proceedings you may want to avoid giving that impression to the judge and the kids.
If you are in another relationship, do not move in with your new partner as you need to assert your independence as being able to stay on your own and fend for yourself (and kids, if it is a custody case); for the same reason, do not move in with your family.
Consider sharing an apartment with a friend or cousin so the rent is reduced for you, and you also have some emotional support when you need it; work to build your life around the new situation and stay away from your new partner for the period of the divorce coming through as you don’t want anything messing up a judgment in your favor.
Best Wishes, Coyalita
Behavioral Health Rehab Specialist
See Tomorrow: “The Bills You Need to Think About”
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